


Mount Paozu

by VegetasLilPrincess



Category: Dragon Ball
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:20:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29211795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VegetasLilPrincess/pseuds/VegetasLilPrincess
Summary: Inspired by Schitt's Creek. An AU where the Briefs family loses Capsule Corps and is forced to move to the wilderness
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The pilot chapter to an idea I've had since watching Schitt's Creek and falling in love with the show and characters

Mount Paozu

What began as a typical day at Capsule Corps headquarters would forever change the lives of the family that called it home. The receptionist working the front desk had no idea the people in suits walking up to her counter were not there for a business meeting.

“Good morning. How may I help you?” The young receptionist greeted. In response, the man leading the team of suits presented his badge. The young woman’s eyes went wide and she quickly called the person in charge. “Mrs. Briefs. There are government agents here.” 

Bulma barely had any time to react when the agents moving swiftly and efficiently through the compound seizing any and all possessions they could carry.

“Bulma! These weaklings are attempting to steal my title belts. Can I body slam them?” Vegeta growled at the intruders ransacking their home.

“No. This is merely a massive misunderstanding. There’s no way my father stole the design for the original DynoCap.” Bulma shook her head in utter disbelief.

“These court documents contain evidence that proves otherwise.” Agent Smith handed Capsule Corps current president a folder filled with legal paperwork filed by a former employee of her father's. A man who had led the startup company’s research and development department.

“Oh my god! What is going on? Why is all our stuff being taken?” Bra asked in a panic walking down some extravagant stairs.

“Sir you’re obstructing an investigation. If you don’t move you will be arrested.” An agent warned Trunks who was trying to hold on to some of his family’s valuables.

“Do you have no soul? You are ruining lives here! My life specifically. How can you sleep at night? Do you get some sort of sick pleasure from this? You sociopath!” Trunks insulted with a flare of dramatics.

Meanwhile, no one dared approach the room Vegeta was standing guard over his collection of wrestling costumes. Trophies from his lavish career as a professional wrestler. He had an entire walk-in closet dedicated to his wrestling boots and elaborate robes alone. His babies as his family liked to joke

A few hours later after the dust had settled the Briefs family found themselves in a now stripped bare conference room. Their personal lawyer explaining in detail the severity of their now devastating financial situation.

“Due to the nature of the lawsuit the government is allowing your family to keep one asset that was acquired without Capsule money.” The lawyer tried to lessen the blow.

“Our children?” Vegeta deadpanned.

“No, they’re people, not material properties.” The lawyer couldn’t believe he had to differentiate. He then turned his attention to Bulma who was obviously the brains of the operation. “You bought a town in 1998? Is that correct?”

“Yes, I bought that to help an old childhood friend and his family.” Bulma hadn’t thought about said friends in years.

“Well, the government has deemed that town not worthy of repossessing.” Their lawyer elaborated handing her the deed.

“And that’s supposed to make us feel better?” Vegeta scoffed.

“Yes. Instead of being homeless on the streets of West City, you can live for little or no coast on Mount Paozu.” Their lawyer explained to four very shellshocked individuals who had just had their whole lives flipped upside down. With literally no other options they begrudgingly packed what little they were allowed to keep, loaded it up into the largest capsule vehicle they managed to hide from the agents, and made their way to Mount Paozu.

The trip though short time-wise was depressing and felt like a slow descent into hell. Though their destination was located on the outskirts of West City it might as well be a completely different word by the terrain which lacked paved roads. In fact, the houses scattered around the mountain base were some of the first capsule houses sold by the Brief's company. Now former company. As they began unloading in front of one of those old houses a man apprehensively approached the group.

“Bulma?” The stranger asked unsure.

“Goku? Is that you?” Bulma looked over surprised to see her friend after all these years. The last time she saw him was before she even had kids. A lifetime ago.

“In the flesh.” The man confirmed with a laugh scratching the back of his head like he normally did when he was nervous.

"Wow, it's been over 20 years. This is my husband Vegeta, son Trunks, and daughter Bra." Bulma introduced her family.

"Nice to meet you. Let me show you in." Goku walked past them having the key to their new home.

“Guard our stuff," Vegeta ordered Trunks not trusting this friend of his wife let alone the place they'd been banished to.

“Uh, Trunks?” Bra turned to her brother once their parents left with the new guy.

“Shut up.” Trunks snapped.

“Excuse me?” Bra snapped back angry he’d speak to her that way.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!" Trunks barked continuing to unload not in the mood to deal with his sister instead trading "shut ups" for more than a full minute. Their bickering would only escalate once they realized they’d be sharing a room because as bad luck would have it the house, they were provided was only a small two-bedroom one bath. Bra immediately placed her bags on the bed farthest from the window much to her old brother’s displeasure.

“Um excuse me? That’s my bed.” Trunks said haughtily.

“Says who? You’re not the boss of me.” Bra stood her ground.

“As a matter a fact I am. I’m the oldest therefore I am the boss of you.” Trunks argued.

“Um, no.” Bra fought back.

“Yes! Look, if someone was to break into the house they would come through that door and I would be your first line of defense.” Trunks tried to play the hero card.

"Yeah right like you'd protect me." Bra rolled her eyes not buying it.

“I would.” Trunks lied.

“No, you wouldn’t! You’d use me as a human shield to save yourself!” Bra accused.

“Nuh huh.” Trunks failed to sound convincing.

"Yes, you would! Also, it’s statistically more likely someone would break in through the window therefore this bed is the safest.” Bra refused to move.

“Whatever I’m not debating this anymore just give me this bed.” Trunks imposed his will by grabbing her unpacked suitcase and moving it to the bed he didn’t want.

“No! As the oldest you should be the first one to be killed.” Bra threw the age card back at him as she retrieved her suitcase and moved it back to the bed by the door.

“Ugh! You’re so annoying any murderer would bypass me to kill you!” Trunks exclaimed moving Bra’s not fully unpacked suitcase to the bed closest to the window aka the killed first bed.

“You are literally the worst big brother in the history of big brothers.” Bra stood up walked over to the other bed and angrily proclaimed “I hope you get killed first” as she picked up her stuff and moved it back to the bed she originally claimed.

“No, anyone in the right mind would kill you first.” Trunks fought back instantly picking up her stuff to move to the kill bed.

“Trunks! They’re going to kill you first.” Bra retrieved her stuff starting a back and forth.

“No!”

“Yes!”

“They’re going to kill you first!”

“Trunks! They’re going to kill _you_ first!”

Unbeknownst to the squabbling siblings their parents and their uncomfortable guest could hear their entire fight making for an extremely awkward situation.

"My son Goten is about your son's age," Goku spoke up starting a conversation to distract from the awfulness.

"I thought your son's name was Gohan after your grandfather," Bulma recalled that bit of information.

“That’s my oldest son.” Goku clarified. “He’s all grown up and has a family of his own.” He added much to Bulma’s surprise, but it made sense he did marry young and have his first child young.

“How’s Chichi?” Bulma still remembered the name of his wife at least.

“Good. She’s actually the leader of Mount Paozu.” Goku answered.

“Leader?” Vegeta joined the conversation he previously had no interest in.

“Kind of like a mayor's role in your city. Well, former city." Goku unintentionally rubbed salt in their wounds. Oblivious to their souring mood the cheerful man proceeded to invite them to dinner at a local café to meet his family and learn more about their town.

“We’ve had a harrowing 24 hours. We’re physically and emotionally drained and have so much to unpack.” Bulma tried to politely turned down his invitation.

“Hard pass.” Vegeta bluntly got his wife’s point across.

“Well, if you change your mind or need anything, we’re just up the road. It’s the house that looks just like this house but with a truck and tractor parked out front.” Goku unbothered by Vegeta’s rudeness got up and made his leave.

“Mom! Dad! Tell Trunks as the older brother he should be _protecting_ me not wanting me to get killed first!” Bra stomped into the small shared living room to tattle.

“If we’re lucky we’ll all be killed tonight.” Vegeta huffed retreating to the other bedroom hoping for an end to this nightmare.


	2. Season 1 Episodes 2-3

Season 1 Episode 2-3

“What was that?!” Bulma woke startled. It had been a long time since she’d heard nature. Her wild imagination immediately picturing some sort of dangerous wildlife outside their window trying to break in.

“Vegeta. Did you hear that?” She whispered to avoid aggravating whatever it was that might want to eat them. When her husband slumbering beside her failed to answer she asked again only louder.

"I was having a nightmare that we lost all our money and were forced to live in the middle of nowhere," Vegeta mumbled half asleep.

"That wasn't a nightmare! We did lose all our money and we are living in the middle of nowhere!" Bulma whispered harshly. “Now get up and go investigate that scary sound.”

“Send the boy to do it.” Vegeta pulled the covers over his head ending the discussion. Bulma knew it'd be easier for her to do it herself than argue with her over-dramatic husband. Annoyed she got up and walked across the hall to her kid’s room.

“Kids! Did you hear that?” Bulma demanded turning on the room’s light causing her adult children to groan and complain like children.

“You mean your super loud nightgown?” Trunks looked up at his mother aghast at her horrible taste in fashion.

"Just for that, you have to go outside and investigate the sound that woke me up.” Bulma declared unamused.

“Yea that’s a big nope from me.” Trunks turned over while pulling the covers over his head just like his father.

“Bra?” Bulma looked at her daughter laying on her stomach sprawled out on a bed much smaller than she was used too unsure if she was even awake because she was wearing a sleeping mask.

“Eww, no. I’m too pretty to die.” Bra replied without moving an inch having lost hope.

“Fine. I’ll do it myself. Like always if I want something done, I have to do it myself.” Bulma exclaimed exiting in a huff.

“You’re a dick Trunks.” Bra cursed.

“Really? You didn’t help mom either.” Trunks called her out.

Bulma could hear her kids reinitiate their “You get killed first” fight as she put on some shoes and stepped out into the cold night air. Except that it wasn’t night anymore, it was early morning. She could see the sun starting to rise over the mountains. If not for how much she hated her current situation she would have thought it was beautiful.

Pushing sentiments aside she walked around the capsule house to their bedroom window where she heard the sound coming from. What she found made her skin crawl. A family of hideous woodland creatures she couldn’t identify. Their beady little eyes glowing at her with the hues of the morning light. Before she could scream one of them scurried over her feet and past her its sharp little claws scratching her legs in its escape. That’s when the former billionaire let out an ear-piercing scream that woke up her household.

“THAT’S IT! We’re selling this wretched village!” Bulma shrieked stomping down the road to what had to be Goku’s house.

“Open up! Open up right now Son Goku!”

“This better be an emergency.” A woman with long black hair warned answering the door.

“My apologies. I have the wrong house.” Bulma turned on her heels to leave when the other woman’s words stopped her in her tracks.

“No, you don’t. Goku! Your formerly rich friend is here.”

The callous reminder of her fall from grace stung as she waiting for the man she came to see to come to the door.

"Thanks, ChiChi." Goku kissed the woman on the cheek earning a side-eye that read she wasn't too pleased with being woken up so early.

“Wow. ChiChi doesn’t look like she’s aged at all. Who’s her surgeon?” Bulma bluntly assumed having work done was the only way to remain looking youthful.

“Can I help you with something?” Goku ignored her question whether on purpose or not she wasn’t entirely sure.

“Yes. We want to sell this village.” Bulma cut straight to the chase.

“Aw but you just got here.” Goku pouted and for a moment all she saw was her childhood friend. The reason why she bought the place in the first place, so another company wouldn’t tear it down and build a factory on the land.

“It’s not for us. We’re not used to so much….” Choosing her words carefully, “nature”

“I understand. How about we meet you at the local diner in about an hour to discuss it.” Goku began closing the door when Bulma stopped it.

“We?”

“Yes. ChiChi has to agree to the selling as village leader.” Goku answered like it was common business practice.

“We don’t have to make a vast production out of it. You can just ask her and let me know she said yes,” Bulma tried to negotiate a quick deal.

“Nonsense. You’ll love the diner. Bring the whole family. I’ll see if my son wants to come too.” Goku smiled closing the door leaving no chance to argue.

“Great.” Bulma sighed returning to her family in a worse mood than she had left. It was going to be a fight to get them up let alone get them to agree to go to breakfast with the Son family.

“Did you sell the village?” Vegeta queried lacking motivation to even look up when he heard her enter their room.

“Not yet.” Bulma casually skirted the question walking over to the window pulling back the curtains letting in the bright morning sunlight.

“Meaning?” Vegeta pressed although he had a dreadful feeling, he wasn’t going to like the answer.

“All will be explained at breakfast.” Bulma replied adding an “I hope” under her breath.

“Breakfast with whom?” Vegeta eyed her suspiciously.

“Goku and his family.” Bulma searched her closet for something suitable to wear. What little she made out with she made sure was designer.

“What? No! Why? Doesn’t matter. No.” Vegeta adamantly refused.

“Kids! Get up! Get dressed! We have a breakfast business meeting.” Bulma informed getting unenthusiastic moans and complaints. She ignored them and got ready. She was going to sell this village if it was the last thing she did………

“Welcome to Café Sierra.” A perky blonde greeted the Briefs table. “My name is Marron. Are you ready to order?”

“I’ll just have a Venti iced sugar-free double shot Tuxedo Mocha with soy milk.” Bra recited her go-to drink from her favorite chain coffeehouse.

"Uh, we have coffee." Marron offered their only option.

“Geeze Bra this isn’t one of your pop-up hand-crafted coffee hot spots.” Trunks ridiculed inciting another bickering battle.

“You’re that family that was on the news. The one that lost everything.” Marron commented.

"Even way out here in the middle of nowhere, we're famous." Vegeta sarcastically stated glossing over the menu in his hands.

“Well, I need French espresso if I’m to be at my best for this _meeting_.” Bra attempted an escape.

"Sit down," Bulma ordered her youngest.

“I’ll be back in a flash, promise.” Bra blew them kisses heading straight for the door walking past the Son family who had just arrived without giving them so much as a second glance.

"Hi, guys." Goku greeted cheerily.

“You’re late.” Bulma chastised. Punctuality was crucial in the business world no matter if you were meeting in the boardroom or a diner.

“Sorry. I had to wrestle this rascal out of bed.” Goku ruffled the hair of who could only be described as a younger version of him. Minus the longer spiked hair.

“Say hello Goten.” ChiChi chided them both for their lack of manners.

"Hello," Goten spoke gaining the attention of the other young man his age who finally stopped pretending to be engrossed in the menu.

“Hi.” Trunks sat up a little straighter as the other family sat across from them at the large booth.

"ChiChi." Bulma turned to the person that could make or break this deal. "I've gone ahead and written up a declaration of intent to sell this quaint settlement. As the local leader, all you have to do is simply sign you agree.” She presented the paper and pen.

“Breakfast before business.” Chichi bypassed her request calling Marron over to order a pancake platter. “You did wake us up before I could make my family a hearty breakfast after all.”

“Of course.” Bulma set down the paper and pen suspecting they would have to suffer through awkward small talk before she got what she wanted. Unfortunately, she was right on the money or in her family's case a lack thereof.

“So, Trunks what did you do in the big city?” Goku began.

“I was an influencer.” Trunks stated like it was a job title.

“What’s that?” ChiChi had never even heard the word so she doubted it was an actual respectful paying job.

“Someone who goes out and reviews business products or new trendy foods on their social media platforms.” Trunks put it in laymen’s terms.

“That’s not a job. Even Goten here has The Facebooks.” ChiChi disputed.

“It’s just Facebook mom. No ‘The’ and not plural.” Goten corrected fending embarrassment.

“Well, I have millions of followers. So, there’s that.” Trunks defended his work.

“Trunks why don’t you be a dear and go to the resident shopping plaza and purchase some household supplies for our temporary residence.” Bulma swooped in to defuse the situation. “You do have a shopping plaza, right?”

"We have a general store," Goku answered. “Goten can show you the way and my granddaughter Pan works there.” He volunteered his youngest with a smile.

“Fine.” Trunks stood up after weighing his options quickly concluding that leaving with a stranger to go to a strange store was better than sticking around. "Wait what am I getting again?"

"Household items," Bulma repeated.

“Which are?” Trunks had never once had to shop for anything that wasn’t clothes or beauty products everything else was handled by their large house staff.

“Items for the house.” Bulma failed to clarify.

“What types of items are those?” Trunks was about to lose it when his angel in baggy jeans threw him a lifeline.

“I’m sure we can figure it out. Come on.” Goten led him outside and into safety.

“Thank you for that.” Trunks said once they were outside and walking away from the Café.

“Don’t mention it. I figured you probably never had to shop for yourself.” Goten’s honesty came off as charming and not patronizing. Perhaps it was his smile that saved him from making people mad at him.

“Untrue. I handpicked every piece in my wardrobe and researched every beauty product I use myself. I’ve never ever used a personal shopper nor had an assistant do it for me.” Trunks explained as they walked not even two blocks before his tour guide came to a stop.

"Yea I don't think you'll find what you're used to in here." Goten warned as he opened the door and walked in." Good Morning Panny.” He greeted the young woman in a flannel shirt working the front register or more not working but reading.

“Stop calling me that. I’m in my 20s.” Pan barely bothered to look up from her book missing the newcomer who was already browsing the aisle.

"I've never heard of any of these," Trunks commented standing in front of a shelf with a limited number of hair products.

“You’ve never heard of shampoo and conditioners?” Goten honest to goodness wondered what planet this guy came from.

“Of course, I’ve heard of shampoo and conditioner it’s just the only products I trust these gorgeous lavender locks to come from Paris.” Trunks grimaced at the selection before him.

“This one says Paris.” Goten pointed at one of the bottles. “But it’s made in China.” He added upon further inspection.

“I’m in luxury hell.” Trunks considered surrendering to his cursed fate just sinking to the floor and never getting up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep a lookout for a fanart I've commissioned for this fic.


End file.
